Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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