she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize