In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ttyl tear gas
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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