Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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