I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
