we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
