We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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