You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
