my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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