You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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