Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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