Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
