if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize