FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Randomize
