god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
