I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He better not be in your backpack
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
