Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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