Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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