pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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