we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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