My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
