That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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