Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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