Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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