From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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