I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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