I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
