Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
