I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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