I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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