They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
