First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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