I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize