It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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