I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
