How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
