I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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