Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
