You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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