He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
