What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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