I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
