It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
