5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
