I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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