I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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