ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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