I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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