I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize