whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
