Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
