I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
