actually, I'm a sock model
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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