She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
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If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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