I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
