; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
