god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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